And speaking of equal opportunity, pirates welcomed escaped sailors from marginalized identities, giving them opportunities for advancement that they never would have had in the navy or merchant marines. Lady-pirates could even become captains, like Ching Shih, who led a fleet of 1,200 ships and a workforce the size of Morgan Stanley. You could call it D-E-Aye-aye-matey.

A hundred years ago, in the heyday of unions, non-unionized businesses needed a way to make their low wages, long shifts, and poor working conditions look a little more attractive. So they did what lazy corporate wonks have done to increase morale since the beginning of time: They threw a pizza party. 

It may seem complicated at first, but if we can coordinate something as complicated and illogical as Daylight Savings happening across 6 US timezones, at a different time from the rest of the world, on random Sundays in November and April, I think we can handle this.

You’re sending the recipient to purgatory. They'll spend the whole weekend in an avoidance loop, thinking about your email and dreading the mental calories it will take to reply. They’ll be headed out on a date with their spouse, turn on their phone to call an Uber, and there will be the notification for YOUR EMAIL, just waiting. Watching.

We each have our own voice. Not that bland, polished, HR voice that performs respect by never expressing an opinion. Strong opinions on how companies’ decisions shape our lives in meaningful ways.

Self-promotion isn’t about ego. It’s a kind of management. It took me too long realize that self-promotion isn’t selfish. Staying heads-down just makes me easier to underestimate and overlook. If I didn’t tell people about my skills, they wouldn’t know when to bring me in so I could have the most impact. Or when to just get out of my way and let the magic happen.