To state the obvious: When you mess with people’s rights, sh*t gets real. And there are IRL consequences when you get the balance wrong.

Most states have regulations that fall into a few easy categories: Do you protect 12 weeks of leave, even if the company isn’t covered by FMLA? Do you have a state-paid program?

I’m launching a Substack where I’ll anthologize my more informational content into practical, educational posts that tell you how I actually GSD.  You can expect thrilling topics like state labor regulations, insurance regulations, payroll tax insights, deep dives into obscure payroll settings, workflow design, free practical resources, calls to action, and buttons to click.

The worst states to have a baby in are the ones with no state-paid programs at all. You'd be better off if you were laid off. At least then you’d be eligible for unemployment. But it would be illegal to lay you off for having a baby, of course. So I guess the people in these states are screwed.

Managing all of this takes time and brain power. You’re contacting the employee, looking up policy details, doing unconfident math, and trying to figure out payroll work-arounds. The lost productivity cancels out the amount you’re saving by relying on these outside subsidies. Meanwhile, the new parent thinks it’s all your fault and blames you for the terrible experience you’re putting them through.

I get that it’s expensive to pay someone not to work for several months, but there are strong business reasons why you should do it anyway. 

Worst of all, striking fear into every HR leader and PeopleOps specialist is the Parental Leave Policy 😱. Parental leave isn’t just about giving people 12 weeks off. 

Short term disability insurance (STD) isn’t sexy. It doesn't attract top talent, but it can keep a company from the kind of tough decisions that can end with lawyers. Many employers don’t even know that the situations that are draining their budget are insurable. 

Is it okay for an hourly employee to work 30 hrs/week (instead of 40) for 3 weeks due to illness without taking intermittent FMLA? Their manager is cool with it and the employee doesn't want to take PTO.

When teams don’t plan for leave, the work gets spread across people already maxed out. That’s not “lean,” it’s a recipe for burnout.

And yet, if 50 of your employees can’t meet at Applebees after work, someone taking leave might not have legal job protection. Even if the work is covered. Even if the team has capacity. Even if the impact is minimal.

Parental leave combines the most complicated parts of HR into one policy: protected classes, disability, paid time off and sick time, obscure payroll esoterica, employees who are "active" but not "working" (and sometimes don't come back when you expect), insurance (policy details, deductions, and a qualifying event), onboarding and offboarding (maybe more than once per person), a bajillionty federal, state, and local laws, many of which conflict

People often confuse their job being 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱 (by FMLA, etc.) with getting 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗱. It's a common mistake. I'm sorry. I really am. I know you're going through a lot. I hate delivering this message when it's already too late. 

"Is this because I said I wasn't pregnant?" He scratched his beard. He was the first non-birth parent to use the policy. And it wasn’t working as planned. And yes, his claim was denied because he wasn't pregnant.

FMLA doesn't guarantee paid leave, but some states have paid leave programs.