Why do I have to clock in? Can't I just write down my time?

“Time is a construct,” said the guy approving timecards. “I don’t approve your time so much as decide when you should be paid.” 

As with most annoying processes that bureaucrats use to make life miserable, timecards began because some slime bag ruined it for everyone. 

These days, it seems obvious that workers should be able to demand an accurate accounting for their time. 

But it wasn’t always that way. 

Picture it: A manager with sweaty armpits, a cigar, and chest hair escaping his top button decides that he will decide how many hours each worker gets paid for. 

Chad with the square jaw and good hair gets paid for 9 hours, because everyone loves Chad.

To Chad’s right, Wilbur with the underbite and unfortunate bald spot gets 6 hours.

Because, Ew. Wilbur.

To Chad’s left, Ronald with the extra skin pigment gets 5 hours. 

Because... you know why.

When people complained about wage-theft, our sweaty manager just said that the workers were late that day, or walked off the floor early, or took a too-long break. 

Everyone knew he was full of bologna, but how could they prove whose version was correct? 

Until one day, a lawyer, a clockmaker, and a hole punch got together and the time clock was born.

It wasn’t perfect, but since you had to be present to punch in or out at the right time, it was better than old Red Pencil McGee up there in the office. 

Which is why I get so nervous when managers ask me to manually adjust timecards or PTO balances. Especially in systems that don’t let you make notes in the logs. 

Because we may have invented time clocks, 

and we may have banned smoking in the workplace

but we can never get rid of the sweaty, cigar-chomping cheapskate whose flex is to not pay people correctly for their time. Just because he was bestowed with the ability to adjust timecards.

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Do you spend hours every pay cycle tracking people down to submit and approve time cards? Are there still mistakes every pay period?

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